Awkward Catch Up Chit-Chat Condensed

Things I did while 92% of this blog's readership was at pre-prom, prom, post-prom and post-post prom.

-I "got money."

-I ate Chipotle for the third time in a week because I am disgusting.

-A.B.D.C. (However, I will only watch Fanny Pak because these eyes, these ones right here on my face, don't even see losers -- and that's exactly what every other crew is.)

-I discovered some new music and actually put it on the iPod.

-I went to sleep before midnight in a very, very long time.

-I went to work. This time only for four hours because...

-...I picked up my MacBook Pro. Oh, and it came with a two-hundred dollar rebate. Oh, and it came with an iTouch. (Yeah, I hate when I brag too. I just had sexxx with it's USB port. Oddly, however, it was on top.)

-I took the slow train to the city for MoMA meet-up with Polo Bear and Speedy Mussolini.

-I found a new god in an old god, an Icelandic spatial artist.

-I took some not so flattering pictures in front of things, just off to the sides of things, while fiddling things.

-I was really good at subways.

-I was really bad at subways. (I must practice this.)

-CROOKLYN. BKLYN. Grimaldi's. Waterfalls (see "new god").

-I learned the importance of always charging a battery.

-I walked from "Peas and Pickles" in Brooklyn Heights, across the bridge, through Manhattan to Penn Station with Speedy Mussolini. I'm not sure how far that is, but it was pretty spectacular.

-It was so spectacular that I no longer have a reason to play my least favorite game, "WashU vs. NYU." (That is the game where I try and figure out how my life would be different had an different outcome occurred. I do this to the smallest detail as you could possibly imagine. No, smaller than that.) It's safe to say, you guys, there exists no perfect a place for this little boy. This walk was more effective than orientation, and that wasn't even BOREientation.

-I texted. A lot. To many. Too many.

-I went to the beach by myself (?).*

I hope you all enjoyed pre-prom, prom, post-prom, and post-post prom. Produce Pete will have plenty to say about it in the coming days. 

*This has not happened yet. I doubt I will follow through any further than typing it.

...And Everything In Between.

Things I learned about myself and others in recent and not so recent days (that was the worst sentence ever):

-This is the best: "Oh man! Remember when you put those grey shorts on that koala bear?" I don't know if that happened in this dimension but I know I heard that sequence of words.
-Chipotle, not for olds.
-I am easily fooled... by robots. Italian blog robots? Italian blogbots? Italiblogbots?
-I probably should smile with my teeth in college just to avoid being "that guy who looks like a date rapist."
-Also, everyone should be date raped one (1) time in their life. That was the decree.
-I can help bake, but mostly I can food process.
-Goats are tastey.
-Wesley Snipes has brights. This should make finding Asian bitchszzzz for him to munch on a little bit easier.
-'Tis more fun to drink than to drive. (I want that put in macrame "Bless this mess" font.)
-Cosmopolitan, the magazine for very worldly women, is mostly a manual for how to be a whore (no one can say anything to change my opinion on this), but it does contain and advance copy of the New 50 Great Short Stories book.
-Am I losing the Battle of the Bulge? Not exactly, but kind of.
-ABDC! ACDC! M&MDC?
-Everyone looks better with a tan.
-I can handle the silence. A broken radio is the best thing to happen to me in a while.
-Ripostes. Good at'em.
-There's no danger in listening to Neon Bible four times in one day. Or Night Ripper.
-I can't make decisions anymore.
-I don't want to go to college anymore. Like at all. I think I'm just gonna chill for forever.
-THINGS FALL DOWN. PEOPLE LOOK UP. AND WHEN IT RAINS, IT POURS. (That one's just for me. But it is very fitting to the weather this week.)

Will this blog get a book deal? No. But my-oh-my things are a-changing.

I cried for three hours, and then I became a team member!

Welllll, this is very exciting. It's me Fraulien and this is a very strange feeling to be "blogging," I apologize in advance for not being as talented as IdA... but I think i might give Produce Pete a run for his money.

So I’ve never done this before, BUT because I just got home from my last day of high school and I can barely see because of all the tears in my eyes, I decided to ask if I could this write this to get things off my chest. I figured since most of the people that really made me this upset about the end of this high school thing read this funny little thing, I’d just spill my grief out into this “blahg.”

So this morning I woke up at Pinky Tuscadero’s casa in disbelief and with total readiness for the day that was afoot. As I piled into the car with PT, her brosef, and Anne Frank, it began to hit me. This was it. At that point I still didn’t know whether I was excited about it or completely depressed (I realize these are two completely opposite emotions and they are usually easy to distinguish between… but I couldn’t decide which one I was feeling). I got to my locker, twisted the lock like I have used for 6 years now, and opened what to me seemed like the door to my heart. Weird, I know. That locker and lock were mine, and next year they won’t be. That school won’t even be my school next year. Like, really? What? I’m going to college? Huh?

So we go through the day, and here’s where this whole story gets interesting and completely blog-able. We all know the “SENIORS ’08 WOO WOO WOO” kind of people (and secretly we all know that we are just like those people inside... don’t worry I won’t tell anyone)… well these people decided today would be SENIOR PRANK AND WATERBALLOON AND FUNNNNNN DAY! Seems harmless and innocent, OH NO HONEY, that’s so not what it was. Let’s put the statistics out there… 1 large slip-and-slide, approx. 100 water guns, 5 people arrested, 1 person screaming “fuck the PO-lice” and claiming she was hit in the face with a night stick, 1 HUGE girl fight, 1 HUGE girl gets in the face/ her boyfriend beats up a girl… fight, and 650 graduating seniors cleaning out their lockers. Not to mention the 15 cop cars and 1 helicopter. Yes, it was an eventful day. But unfortunately, at about the midway point in the day, I realized that my attitude toward the day was the “completely depressed” one and I couldn’t even enjoy the girl fight. Come on, me? Not enjoying girl fights? W T F!? EVEN WORSE, the first song I heard when I get home was “Wall-to-Wall” by my true love, Chris Brown… and THAT made me cry? What is the world coming to? I’m not Anne Frank… I’m Fraulein. Fraulein is not a wimpy name… not really a good name either but whatever, that’s so not the point.

The real point is that today it hit me that in a short few months, we won’t be sitting around every weekend wondering what to do. IdA won’t be going to that 7 11 he where sometimes gets gum. Produce Pete won’t be spending time in the produce aisle or putting up with Produce Pam (its pam right?). Schmelter won’t make stupid jokes… wait. And Commander Cool won’t dance to Ms. Avril Lavigne anymore.* You know what I mean. Being sentimental sucks. But right now, it’s gotta happen. So here it is, consider this my virtual yearbook entry… I love my friends (that’s you guys!) and as much as I need some things to change, I don’t want anything to change. All of you, well prob not all of you… but to the ones who know who I am… you all have made my senior year the best year I’ve ever had. You changed me for the better and I’m so happy and thankful that you are all in my life. HERE COME THE TACKY CLICHES that actually mean something today, don’t ever change because I love you all just the way you are and I can’t imagine my life without you. Each one of you has a special place in my heart. And as the wise Vitamin C says, “I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye. Keep on thinking it's a time to fly.”
I hope this blog isn’t as bad as Produce Pete’s last attempt. Thanks for reading.

Peace and Love,
Fraulein Schmelter

*I realize that Avril is married to that guy from Sum 41… but I don’t know if she took his last name or whatever so I went with the 2002 version of her name

Long Anticipated Follow Up

So here I am writing a blog again, even though The Schmelter thinks I'm boring (sad face). I've been thinking a lot about how to get this blog out of the doldrums of the internet, and then I realized it would be impossible unless I post more.

I suppose I'll sum up our week since Id A is slacking.

-Graduated high school. (Less interesting than it sounds)
We basically sat around for awhile. I had a super awkward moment with Kermit and Miss Piggy.

-Ate Chipotle 4 times in one day. (More interesting than it sounds)
Undoubtedly the most impressive maneuver FNBS has pulled off since its conception.

-Watched America's Most Eligible Bachelor of the year 2000 (By far the highlight of the week)
If this contest was held in 2008 it would have been a very close battle between Id A, Commander Cool, and myself.


I agree that it'll be rather sad in a couple months when we all split up. At least we have a couple months to party really hard like we do.

I keep it short and sweet, so bye.

-P.P.

"So, Welcome to the Cruel, Hard World"

My boss said through his mustache immediately after asking how my graduation was (post to come!). That's right I went back to work today and never in my life have I been more bored. I've never felt like I should be somewhere else so much. Not much happened today because nothing ever really happens at work. I just sort of file and catalog and sit in front of a computer and not really talk to anybody but the kind 57-year-old Colombian janitor, Jose.

This was the highlight of the day: I went to 7-11 on break.
I got Vitamin Water because I LOVE pretense.
I got Red Bull because I was wiped and didnt feel like making Id A's Secret 7-11 Blend.
I got a Brownie Krispy Kreme Muffin because that exists, apparently.
I got a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos because I'm gross.
I put the Red Bull in the Vitamin Water which turned it to urine. Like, I'm no chemist but I'm pretty sure that's what happened. It looked like urine, it smelt like urine, so that's what I'm going to assume urine tastes like. If it was like a duck and talks like a duck...
I only ate top half of the muffin which cancelled out why I got it when I could've just gotten a regular brownie and spent less.

Also, did I make a black friend today? Only time will tell.

PS: There will be a post about the events of June 3rd. I just don't know if I'm going to write it COUGH.
PPS: SPOILER ALERT: There is nowhere for me to masturbate at work now. This is HORRIBLE. You all should've heard this story at least once.