Remember that Monologue of "Trainspotting" That Ended Up in Every Dorm Ever?

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The Japanese Porn Star Diet

I've lost five pounds (not that I've been counting or anything) since school started. It's not because I'm gettin' big with Uday Pulaski.

It's because I don't have enough time to eat.

Isn't that funny! There aren't as many hours in the day for me to feed myself. Because unless you're Josh Schwartz, no one is THAT busy.

Also, Nutrageous(es) actually makes a really good meal replacement. But not really though. I'm really hungry.

I Hope Your High Horse Gets Put Down Like That Horse That Won the Kentucky Derby (?) and Then You Won't Have A High Horse Any Longer

I realized there's nothing more annoying to me than 24-28 year old males. Like, you're not that much older than me (not as mature [and yes, that was very snobbish, but, hey, you're reading a blog.]) and like we get it, you are a dick.

Last night, this was brought to a point. Duuuude! was being such a dickface. This was after telling me twice to buy things and use them because he told me to use them, then saying that he never told me to buy things and use them and then passive agressively yelling at me because I did something wrong. I am not Idoknoman, Dickface, get over it.

And what the fuck is up with Big Shot requesting to edit my shit. Who does that? Who says "I want to edit [REDACTED]'s [REDACTED] so I can tear him apart."? You are a teacher (who still lives with his parents). We get it. But anyway, guys, I fucking wrote my little heart out, gave it to him with a smile (laced with contempt) and essentially shoved it right back at him. Don't act so defensive if you constantly feel the need to shit on 17 year olds.

But then there is "Versing?" Again, like we get it. At least you don't live at home. But like, yeah I'm not going on the [REDACTED]. Big shit. So aren't 250 other seniors. And do you honestly think that as a senior leader, me not donating to the yearbook drive is going to fuck these kids up for the rest of high school. Also, stop giving my so much goddammed work to do, I don't get paid, I'm not a babysitter.

It Sounds Like a Sad Song But Really Its Just Alt-80s Boston

So, this post is about growing up and I feel it goes best with the song "Blue Thunder" by Galaxie 500. As I sit here watching "I Love New York 2" (!) waiting for "America's Most Smartest Model" to be on, I can't help but think how different I am from a) black people b) who I used to be. That sounds really emo but like... yeah it is. But seriously things have changed. I am living for me. Just read my college essays. No seriously. ESSAYS! For COLLEGE! What fun!

But, I realized, finally, that you don't have to impress everybody all the time. For the first time, I really happy, not content because thats different, with where everything is in my life. Sure, I'vr spent over ten hours at a B-university library this week, I haven't seen my house or parents in the daytime, and I'm way behind on college apps, but it's all okay with me. I thrive under pressure anyway.

I bring this up because yesterday saw another meeting with Are They Married? and my parents and me. It was to decide what goes in my portfolio. Since this round of meetings started two weeks ago, I hadn't really heard anyone come out of it and be all happy. But, I digress. We didn't actually pick anything because... well long story short: Everything is portfolio worthy. It's really nice to get complements like that especially since its what I want to do. It's nice to have that support. It's nice to know that someone has that much faith in you. It's nice.

This is SOOOO emo. But anyway, I think my positive outlook on life is really working. I honestly didn't think it would last this long. And yes, reader(s), this is positive. I may not let everything roll off my shoulders, like the DOUCHE incident with the biggest douche ever, someone is not Yale worthy, but like I kind of only care about the people I care positively about. I think that makes sense. No?

"America's Most Smartest Model" is on. I doubt that guy is really the Denis Ivanovich (Google it!) he's making himself out to be.

She's Like a Starter Kit for Sexual Predators

You know what I hate?

People who are dumb and unattractive and the same time, yes. But also, people who get no idea that you don't like them.

Like this one girl. Like she'll put anything in her mouth. ANYTHING. Extra points if you are black. She's also loud and faux-rebellious. Two no-nos in Id A's book. Like I really don't want to talk to you, ever. Please go away. Further. Further, still.

And like, she's so desperate for male attention its repulsive. She also doesn't have an iPod. Like welcome to 2007, you piece of shit. And yes, I just judged someone because they didn't OWN something.

She also looks like the Faun from "Pan's Labyrinth" except with red hair.

She ranks up there with The Shitfucker and "kids who take gym class sports too seriously" on my Shit List. Now, if she only had the personality to merit a nickname. Sigh...

This Is Annoying

Why won't that fucking website work. I just want to see how terrible I look in my senior pictures.

I've tried the right combination of words and numbers like 100 times.

Gettin' My Swell On

Gettin' big. That's the new goal. Which I'm beginning to realize is poorly timed what with all the sitting on my ass I'll be doing writing college essays.

So yeah, that's what I'm gonna use my last year of physical education for, the swell. Uday Pulaski is my trainer. No more speedball, no more softball, just swimming and weightlifting/working out.

This sounds weird, but... here we go. I want to be secksy and adult. College is coming sooner than one would think and these things take time. I'm losing fat and gaining muscle. Hopefully.

This post was more for Id A than anyone else.

Gah! Fuck!

This has been a weird week(end) reader(s). DC sucked, a lot. The best part was standing on a street corner talking to Polo Bear and Produce Pete and The Rabbi on the phone. The rest was just terrible. Terrible! HORRIBLE!

So there was this dick at GW, not an actual penis, mind you, just a dick. Let's recap the meeting, shall we.
[Uncomfortable "One of us should say something" Silence]
Id A: What do you like to see in a portfolio?
Dick: Range...variety. And focus. (Those are like kinda different, right?)
Id A: Well I have some of my work on my camera if you wa...
Dick: Oh no! No no no no. There is a committee for that. I have like TWO minutes to show you around, okay?
Id A: ...
Then he pretty much talked about nothing really quickly for like ten minutes. I was much angrier before but, transcendance. JuSchneids was Mrs. Claus compared to this man.

In DC, though, there are a lot of very wise immigrants. Sorry, taxi drivers. Like they all had very valid things to say about life. I will "put it in God hands and be happy." Thank you, you Turkish cabbie. Mom A asked, not me. I think its rude to be like "Where are you from?"

But yeah, Friday I had the worst headache of my life. Saturday I took the SATs (for the second time) and had really fancy dinner at 105 Harbor with the family. That last part was good. But it didn't make up for the awful.

Change your profile picture Produce Pete.

Now I have a mountain of homework to get to because I am still in high school.

"I Haven't Been Liking Your Blogs as Much."

Id A: Nothing much has been blog-worthy.
V.I. Melanin: If you had more classes with me, you would have more to write about.

So yeah, I haven't been seeing as much of V.I. as I would like. That makes me sad. But yeah nothing much has been blog-worthy. And I'm not very picky.

But yeah, V.I. took a day off from C******** this week to study for the SATs with Produce Pete. (Which speaking of the SATs why can't I just take the math section again? Everything else is good. And wtFUCK?) But instead of studying, they went to the public high school. Just take a second. V.I. Melanin took off from school to go to another school. He was going to do it again this week but I guess not.

V.I. kind of has all his shit together and I'm more than a little jealous.

I just want everyone to get into their first choice and be happy. Is that so hard, God? Today was a shitty day.

Like, we're taking that trip to Yale, in November, with overcast skies.

Let's Talk About Our Feelings

Id A is all over the place (emotionally and physically) these past two days. Illadelphia was ill despite not being able to see Lightweight Paper. UPenn was a life changing experience that lasted a grand total of four hours because Dad A wanted to beat the traffic. The traffic won. I didn't go to my school or Owns Me yesterday and that felt very good. I did go to art where I was even more all over the place (just emotionally) and obsessed about thirty seconds of a 45 minute meeting. Like it's not that bad right?

But yeah, UPenn is my new love and I just don't want to be disappointed, that's understandable right? I'm confused about a lot right now. I miss freshman year a little because nothing mattered.Remember that? How easy everything was? But maybe I should shoot lower, but NYU is no NCC. Like nothing's a done deal. How far away is April? I wish I applied early. But maybe not. Again confused. No Cory Matthews sightings.

Anyway, last night I had another mini-breakthrough which felt good and put me more in a weird headspace. Even more so when Flannel Equals Me Jealous asked what Dad A thought of my totally awesome but weird drawings. Evasiveness. But anyway, its been weird.

I REALLY want to go to college but the whole application process is kind of a put-off. Like when I found out Eighth Grade Crush actually liked the movie White Chicks. And my school could not be making the teacher recommendation process more complicated. Commonapp -- two words or one?

Topanga Lawrence

So, I'm going to Philadelphia tomorrow or "illadelphia" as Lightweight Paper ironically puts it, and that got me thinking about Boy Meets World. Which made me sad, because there will never be as good a show as Boy Meets World ever. In the history of time. Not even Gossip Girl (the most important television event of our generation.)

Like, I want a Mr. Feeney. Remeber him!? Of course you do! I want a Mr. Feeney. And, all I got was a Gay Dinosaur. Remember when Topanga and Cory got married WAY too young? And it almost didn't work out? And then they had a baby? And when that black girl was on and like she was too different from everyone (because she was black) and then Sean started dating her and they broke up like 10 million times? And when Cory like "seventh grade cheated" (copyright, Id A, this blog) at that ski lodge? JER-A-MA.

Oh, and another thing. Professor Feeney!?!

Oh, and ANOTHER thing. Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me.

Id A Is Over the Ranibow

... and done with puns for now. They always seem to get him in trouble.

Anyway, http://http://www.radiohead.com/deadairspace/index.php?a=292

Hooray! Ten days! Now, if only they were on iTunes.