The Secret to Their Sucksess

Now, if you are a hardcore fan of this blog (Anybody, hands?) you might be wondering "Id A, where is all the swearing?" The anser is, I didn't write this. V.I Melanin did. Id A did edit though, so when you read (Ed. note:...) it will actually be a note by an editor and not just 21st century schizophrenia. Blogosphere! Anyway, some venting, some anger, more than some frustration with attending a school in which everyone is white and wealthy, but still some manage to be the Whitest and the Wealthiest. (Note the caps. Supremacy, not that kind.)

It's that time of year again. The leaves are changing. It's getting colder. Spoiled lacrosse players are realizing they can now do EVEN LESS work because -- hey!-- they're already in college. Actually, a really good one, like REALLY GOOD. Actually its Douche U.

Let's analyze each of these outstanding C******** men a little deeper, shall we:

Bitch The newest addition of the horde of thieves. Like honestly, one could just call him hairy beast of the water. Seriously, if growing chest hair, looking fat, and rowing metal across molecules of hydrogen and oxygen can get you into Douche U - I was approaching this whole college process the wrong way (Ed note: Me too. If all you needed was upper body strength, I would've put down the fucking paintbrush and lifted like bricks or something). And dude, could you ask any more annoying question and/or wear uglier sweaters (Ed note: Is he even smart? Like, I don't think so, right? I don't actually even remember him existing? He doesn't shop at Mecca, but occassionally, I do like his crazy '80s garb. I'm a bad person). They don't call it a "crime" to wear poor clothing for no reason. You're a bitch.

Hoe "Yea! I can kick round objects of cow hide across arbitrarily drawn goal lines. Besides that, I like to spend my evenings housing hideous hair while pretending to be an intellectual. I used to be popular until people realized that I really have nothing going for me besides a kick-ass last name and a big house." Will be one of Douche U's finest, I'm sure. You a hoe (Ed note: And you TOTALLY look like that kid in elementary school who got everyone to pay the fat kid with low self esteem to eat like weird shit like Oreos covered in tin foil and ranch dressing. You suck).

Slut My favorite people in today's world are pseudo-toughguys. Like guess what bro, I pride myself in knowing I no longer participate in the same recreational activities that the fucking Native Americans did [see c.f., evolving/civilizing]. Might I also re-iterate that Skank U is going to be hosted some hideous hair styles. This kid's hair is as white as.....well whatever, it's white and ugly and not appealing and ugly. Your dad was in Skull and Bones (Ed note: Actually, you never leave), congratulations! Your father's intellect joins the rank of Mr. Bush's (Ed note: V.I., did you learn nothing from The General? It's Mr. PRESIDENT, you American hating abortionist!). You're a slut. (Ed note: Id A actually went to middle school with the hoe. And he is the EXACT same now as he was then. Like he had already written his ticket. Also, you remind of someone who is going to pay for an abortion in two years.)

Whore One word...Very Strong Acne Medication. Oh wait, that was more than one word (Ed note: Four, actually). Oh well, you still need it. Besides that, let's reflect on why you're getting into Skank U. O yes, you swing wooden bats. Wonderful. We had Indians, now we have cavemen. It's so thrilling to see empirical examples of just how far we've come as a race. I don't think I've ever met someone who pretends to try as little as you do. Funny thing is, you still get mediocre grades while working your ass off. (Ed note: I just fucking hate this kid because like, okay, he used to be fat anf when he lost his extra weight only then did he start hanging out with the 11030 mob and only until last year was he king. Well, shah maat.) Oh well, the whole "book" thing isn't for everyone. Especially not for Ivy fellows, apparently. You're a whore.

Conclusion: Douche U is a political machine. Douche U doesn't care that some people actually have brains. Douche U is for skanks. (Ed note: These four shitslices almost make me not want to go there. Like if only like every admissions officer could hang out with me and V.I., they would see how awesome we are.)

V.I. Melanin