Die Kulture

As I stated in my optional essay to an Ivy League school I didn't get into (le waah), I am a child of the nineties. Being one requires that I being staring at a screen of some sort for at least 6 hours a day. This is becoming more and more of a problem for me because like...THIS IS A TERRIBLE HORRIBLE AFFLICTION.

Like TV sucks.* I can only watch the same episode of Top Chef four times before it gets old. I can only see the same BonerJuice commercial so many times. The same goes for anything on MTV (MTV is actually the correct Polish pronuncuation of "retard." I swear. Go look it up.), VH1 or any network. In fact I realized the other day (this year has been the Year of a Million Realizations) that I watch the same show on different channels over and over again. This is fucking with my vision. Granted, this will only give me an excuse to wear more outrageous sunglasses. (Ed note: At Diznmerikuh USA1! World, the sunglasses [which are now scratched, I'd rather not talked about it] recieved mixed reviews but did spark a conversation between me and Kid Who May or May Not Be Guilty By Association.) I mean, I like seeing sexxxy Latinos cavort and compete just as much as the next guy, but just because I like something does that mean I have to watch it too?

I will regret this post much later in life, the future (where everything is on the Intertubespace), as I will be #1 Single, sitting in my futureapartment, not feeding my futurecats their futurefood, watching futuretelevsion and lamenting how great it used to be.

This brings me to the Intertubespace. Some times, for serious, I wish it didn't exist. Like for rillz. I spend too much time on it. I could take up another hobby like soccer or laxxx or reteach myself how to ride a bike. (Ed note: That was a sad day when I learned that truism was decidedly false. I forgot. Like my brain pushed that out of my head so I could remember who was sleeping with whom on The Real World: Sydney.) I wrote in my essay (le waah) about the Livre du Face. I have an addictive personality; it's a part of my family's genetic make-up. Granted, I'm addicted to the Intertubespace and not something fun, it's still bad. Again, do I really need to know whos Online Now? And Now? And Now? And in three seconds from when I last checked who was Online Now?

I know what some of you are saying, "Id A, if you're addicted to the Intertubespace, then why isn't this "blah"g ("Blah"g is copyright Id A, etc.) updated more frequently?" Because, reader(s) this is work, work for which I do not get paid**. Wink.

Side Note: If you're ever sad and want to feel even sadder but can't find the right combination of about twenty five minutes of music to express this sadness, then boy, do I have the solution for you! It's all by The Cure: "The Same Deep Water as You," "Disintegration," "Homesick." You'll thank me.

*The exception of course, is Gossip Girl.
** Your gratitude is not payment as I can not spend it on ridiculous sunglasses/tshirts/the same clothes you already have.