DIZNMERIKUH USA1! WURLDXXX

It's time for the Disney World blog! It has been nineteen days since I have updated this blogospace. Let's begin with the beginning:

I arrive at C******** at 4 o'clock in the morning; this is something that even though I know is abslolutely never going to happen again, I still never want it to ever happen again. My body clock is completely thrown off for the rest of the trip because of this.

There was coffee, there were danishes, chitchat etc. The flight to TAMPA, yes! TAMPA!, felt so long, but what felt even longer was the subsequent bus trip to Orlando. It was the most anxious hour and a half of my life. Central Florida also does not have the most exiciting terrain. It does have the most exciting RV dealerships though, a lot of those.

So, Disney. A lot of fatties. Like a tonne (right now I am British). There were also a lot of British people there including the most badass seven year old ever. I want to be him. I imagine his name is Ian, his father works in bond trading but isn't around that much (he was by himself the whole hour-long wait for an anticlimactic tall waterslide) so is instead raised in Notting Hill by very attractive au pairs. So anyway, Diznmerikuh was crawling with chunk. IT NEARLY RUINED THE SENIOR TRIP.

Uday Pulaski was afraid to go on Splash Mountain which, honestly, I find funny. It is the trippiest ride ever. And this fox and a bear have buttsecks right at the end of it. They groan and everyone gets wet and "satisfactual." Actually, a lot of Diznmerikuh rides are just kinda gay. Like that Yeti. The problem with this rides is that a lot are just kinda lame and kinda not worth the wait. Like everywhere we (Id A, Produce Pete, Schmelter, and Uday Pulaski) went there was a line. Even for the bathroom that one time.

Honestly, I found the best part of the trip to be $uper expens9ive dinner at tres authentic French restaurant in Epcot Bistro de Paris. So French! Tres French! (That was a preview of the French version of Dora the Explorer, Lenore the Embittered Chain-smoking Whore. You are welcome.) There was escargot! FANCY! Foie gras (fo-ee grass)! FANCY! Lamb! Duck! Cheese! Souffle! Creme Brulee! FANCY! FANCY! FANCY! What pleased me most about Bistro de Paris was that we were the only C******** students in da joint. Also, Paul fro Verdun. And Marion! The Breadgirl! SO CUTE! She taught us how to say bread names in French. (Rustic and Baguette. I less than three Americaworld.) TRES FANCY! This was all before ended our friendship by taking the dessert menu (which he said I could have) out of my hands. We did leave a generous tip though, because it was the greatest meal any of us had ever eaten.

There's more to write about (like I didn't even mention the ho-tel), and I could be wittier, but its getting late. My eyes are heavy. Maybe I should do this in the afternoon. This trip made me realize even more that school is ending. Also, I totally broke sequence with this post. I said I would start at the beginning, but I jumped. There will be a sad post about this and a happy post about this. There's always something to write about. The prblem is that there's not alway someone willing to write it. Will it be you? Or you? Or maybe even... you?
Heart, bros.

P.S. I wish I updated my blog as frequently as Thought Thief updates hers. It is wonderful. And she did actually steal my thoughts again, because not only did I start blogging before her, but I invited THE IDEA OF BLOGS.*

*Even if this were true, my bank account would be exactly the same.