So here’s my deal. I’m home for the weekend and it made me miss you guys even more. I was lucky and I did get to see Pinky Tuscadero and Zideburnz and Girlkol and Queen Kullen (QK) but, I don’t know, you guys know that feeling where you are grateful for what you have but still wish you had more. It really does kill me that I don’t talk to each one of you every single day. I know we all have thousands of things to do all the time, at least I know I do, but I always find time in the day to think about how I miss you all. Yep, it’s lame. But whatever. It scares me that we are all changing. I just hope our relationships with each other don’t change. I hope that those basement hang outs don’t get old and become unappealing because I’m scared they will be too simple. I’m a different person now too. I’ve come to learn that I can keep myself happy and I can rely on myself. And I think I might have matured a bit? I don’t know how I feel about that yet. Also I’m going through a complete body makeover as well, its this experiment I like to call the “would you be my friend if I came back morbidly obese?” game. I actually enjoy going to class which is weird for me. I spend a lot of time in libraries or outside in the sun… which is also weird for me. I plan on doing so many things at school and I have a lot of things I want to accomplish; but, at the same time I can’t seem to figure out what the hell I’m gonna do with my life as a whole. I admire those people who know what they want and know how they are going to get there. I’ve met a bunch of people but no one that I see becoming a lifelong friend. I’m pretty sure it will take more than a month to figure that out, but as of now that’s how I see it. I also realized how much I do miss my family. It’s very nice to be home and to see them and hear my brothers’ ever deepening voices. The problem is that I have too much time to think about stupid shit and worry. I don’t know how I have much time because I’m always doing something. I find myself completely distracted thinking I wonder what ProP is up to or I wonder how IdA’s weekend was. All these thoughts are very jumbled. And I’m not as unfortunate as I sound. Life is actually pretty good. It’s nice to be able to really know that you can do things for yourself and that I’m gonna actually be able to make it through the year without a breakdown. I mean I may have a heart attack from all the faacking pizza I’ve been consuming, but I won’t have an emotional breakdown wanting to see my mommy. College. It’s crazy. Life. It’s crazy. College life. It’s crazy. Let’s have a hipster party over Thanksgiving break. Kay byez.
XOXO-Frau
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