I love not shaving. It has got to be one of my favorite things in the world. Only emphasized by the fact that I have an extemely heavy beard for someone my age. (Not as heavy as Uday Pulaski's, but I mean, does anyone?)
Not shaving saves me so much time because, when I shave, I do it right. I'm talking like not shaving for a week. That way people will be able to see the hair on your face and not thing your just going through puberty and haven't learned yet because your dad's not really in the picture and this all seems kind of redudant because seriously, how hard is shaving? If you've seen the Super Bowl, then you should know how to shave a face.*
I like rubbing my jaw and stroking my chin as though I'm making REALLY important decisions. Beware: I was stuck in traffic doing that today and this woman pulled up to me and gave me a really dirty look. I think she was just jealous. (Right, Kelly Anne!? [see previous post]) I like touching my chin (shit is a jungle) with my upper lip. Basically, I like looking like an American Apparel model, if only for the fact that it makes me look like a hipster even though calling yourself a hipster negates the fact that you are a hipster. Williamsburg.
Alas, I will have to shave tomorrow. Apparently, I'm corporate now.
*By, the way, I read somewhere that its totally "hotter (!)" to be au naturel down there, so... uh... that's some advice if your like me and your afraid of cutting SOMETHING.**
**Shaky hands. From all the meth, naturally.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment