Goes Well With the Crack in the Windshield

Id A feels bad. Today, when I was getting gas for Wesley Snipes (the car, not the tax-evader) I had my first real fender bender. I say "real" because those people at 110 & Jericho were "totally cool about it," i.e. they had somewhere to be. But today, this man had nowhere to be, because he works at a motherfucking gas station like the stupid immigrant that he is. Yeah, i know that's insensitive but so was he, also, I am not as big a douche as he will always be because I'm not mad at the world because the American dream hasn't worked out for me and now I'm working at this FUCKING gas station in Plainview.

So there was this big fuel truck filling up the underground tanks with oil and he was blocking my usual pump, the one that you can just pull up to and don't have to maneuver and shit because that's hard. So, I do some of the things I was apparently taught in Driver's Ed (who knew!?) but only I hit this stupid cement barricade that's retardedly painted like metal so the gas station can fool people into thinking they're running one classy joint. Long story short, I shattered my front blinker. Long stroy even shorter, Suresh must mean "douche" in Hindi.

As soon as he saw me go into reverse he was watching me like I was a black person in any store. After the "incident" he runs over and screams in his Indian accent "You get the FUCK OUT OF MY GAS STATION! Who gave you your license and your car?" My reply, you ask? "I know, I know." Like he had just told me that cookies are super-fun(!). Than the other people there looked at me really judgementally and one of them was driving a minivan so, how embarrassing! Then when I went to get back on the road somebody honked at me. Great.

THINGS I WISH I HAD SAID:
"THE STATE OF NEW YORK WHERE I WAS BORN, SIR!"
"Look, it was an accident. Your solid piece of cement is FINE!"
"You are a douche."

Dad A didn't seem that mad though, so Win?

This brings up another "incident" that I have relived with Royale With Cheese many a time. Except this one totally wasn't my fault. I will leave you all with that. Tomorrow, another tale.